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[16 Jun 2005|06:40pm] |
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okay, i guess we're doing this. i made keri_russell over there and seann_scott. i am leaving amanda behind, i was getting tired of her anyway. hope to see most of you on the flip side, and i hope this solves our problem.
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| hold meeeee |
[02 Jun 2005|03:37pm] |
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It took me a minute to remember my password which is a sign that I haven't been around here at all, and that I needed to get my ass back in gear.
I just returned from Germany after spending a very, very long time there filming. It was good for me though. I definitely needed that alone time to clear my head of everything that was going on at the moment. While I was there, I signed some papers and sent them on their merry way. That is all I want to say about that at the moment.
I have moved into the apartment in New York we had been considering moving into. Most people would choose not to live there, but I really liked that apartment, and it's not like there are any memories there. There aren't. I am starting fresh with a whole new outlook on life. I haven't lived alone in awhile, so I think this may be good for me. If it turns out it isn't, I can always drag all my stuff over to Chris and Lance's and move myself in, or find Dan wherever he is at the moment, and cling to his side.
I am going to be presenting an award at the Tony's on June 5th. I hope that means new pictures of me.
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[04 May 2005|10:13am] |
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There are obviously not enough words in the English language to describe how much I love and adore you. You are so fucking wonderful, and I don't know what I would do without you in my life. COME TO GERMANY, SOB. STOP HANGING OUT AT WEIRD FUNCTIONS WITH JOEY. Happy birthday, Lance. :-*
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[29 Apr 2005|04:21pm] |
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I forgot to whine about how I couldn't find the paper trails button in my last entry, dammit. I am a failure at introductions. :(
Someone help me make a graphic for the whateverdude community. I have no idea what to do with it, and I am awful at coming up with things like that. The main icon should probably be changed too before it gives someone a seizure. Other than that, I will fix it up all proper soon.
I did my part and bought the resurgence community 12 months of a paid. SO IT BEST NOT DIE. >:O
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| what is the new link for disclaimer? just the comm? |
[27 Apr 2005|11:02pm] |
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excited |
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music |
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Ana's Song (Open Fire) - Silverchair |
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Just kidding about my last post. I don't really know how all of you would survive without me anyway, to be honest. All you crazy, dramatic, people! I AM THE SANITY HERE. I am the liar here.
Should I re-introduce myself? I feel like a different person with this new comm, so maybe I will. I'm Keri Russell. Everyone knows me from the short lived show Felicity. Do not say one word about my hair or I will cut you. Cut you, har har har. ANYWAY. I didn't have a career for awhile, because right after that I took a long deserved break. Now I'm back into the acting scene. I just came out with the movie The Upside of Anger, which everyone should go see because Joan Allen is in it, and she is my freaking role model. Not to mention a couple of other really cute actresses who are pretty great too.
For the time being, I am stationed in Germany filming a movie about cannibals on the internet. Something creepy about a guy eating another guy's penis, but let's just blow right past that one. Blow, hahaha. I am on a roll!
I changed my default and colors in my journal, both ugly. I feel ugly, therefore, I made my journal match. I wish I would step out of the house again, so I could make some new icons.
Verdicts still out on whether or not I am still married.
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| BRACKETY |
[25 Apr 2005|11:27pm] |
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i think this has been a long time coming. actually, i think the demise of this entire community has been a long time coming. but i really loved it while it lasted. you all helped me shape the keri that i have today, asterisks in comments and all. if this community picks back up during the summer, i'd probably come back. but otherwise, i'm pretty sure i have the majority of you friended on GJ. i love everyone and i am just sad that keri wasn't able to become a lesbian right before she left. sigh, whatever, if it had been anyone other than kristin it just wouldn't have been right.
and i wish i could transfer this paid over to mbp.
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[18 Apr 2005|04:11pm] |
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You know that face you put up so that everyone thinks you're alright? I am really good at that face. I think you are too. Who are we kidding? It hasn't been the way it used to for months. I have felt so disconnected from you. I've tried to push things aside and not deal with it, but I don't know if I can anymore. We blame everything on our busy schedules, but if we really loved each other and wanted this to work, we'd make time. I don't feel like you want to make time for me, and I'm too exhausted to fight anymore to make time for you. So, what happens now? I bet you won't even respond to this for months. And that will be my answer.
I don't know if Rachael is still with me, but if she isn't, I am going to take a vacation and spend some time with her. I feel a lot closer to her than I do to anyone right now, and I think it would be good for me. I read that she is looking for a place to move into, maybe I should look with her. Maybe I will proposition that we move in together and be roommates after this film is over. I wonder what she will say.
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[02 Apr 2005|08:28pm] |
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oops yesterday was my two years here and i celebrated by going to see sin city with justin timberlake magically because realistically i am still in germany. but who likes being realistic? and where is josh hartnett?
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| i never want to hear the words 'pillowy goodness' again |
[25 Mar 2005|04:20pm] |
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rachael is here now and helped me celebrate my birthday in the castle. i was a little bummed at first because josh wasn't going to be able to come, but i still threw a damn good party anyway, german cannibals flowed like wine.
then after we sent all of them away (the language barrier was getting a little difficult for us especially after we were hammered) we parted ways and rachael went to her side of the castle and i went to mine. being the huge chicken i am, i took a big flashlight and walked over to her side and quietly slid into bed with her. she wasn't asleep anyway so i didn't feel bad when she turned over and looked at me. i quickly apologized for being in there, sometimes i'm not sure who gets bothered by the cuddling thing and who likes it. i am a cuddler by nature, and most of my friends are. but she told me not to apologize and actually thanked me since she said she couldn't sleep and needed to talk to someone.
we have a lot more in common then i ever thought we did. i really did think she and clay were good for one another, but it was always weird for me to have a friendship with her because of the way it started. when a relationship starts with bitterness, it's hard to get rid of that. i couldn't stop thinking about how clay and i hadn't been broken up that long before the two of them got together. but i have decided to put all that behind me now, actually that's something i should have done long ago because she is really wonderful. we talked about a lot that night and i feel a lot closer to her because of it.
finally, at 2 in the morning (because the time is all off) josh called me to wish me a happy birthday and to apologize for not being with me. he said he hoped i had an alright day anyway. actually, i did and it was better than alright.
justin timberlake and i are going to see sin city together whenever it comes out. jealous.
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[21 Mar 2005|02:15pm] |
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musicals it's the gay man inside of me |
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germany is interesting. lets pretend i am staying in this castle. jealous? who's coming to visit? i can give you your own section of the castle, if you want. i am pretty much the star of this movie so i can do whatever i want. plus, i am all alone here since josh is still in the states working.
this movie is going to be so creepy. it's about a german cannibal that would go online and ask people if he could eat them. one guy agreed and they got together and both of them ate the guys penis, first raw and then fried. how sweet, right. i just hope these germans don't have a craving for roasted ovaries or anything :(
i hope rachael will come to visit.
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[02 Mar 2005|05:14pm] |
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content |
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"Breathe" - Anna Nalick |
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No need to get into all the dirty details but I just wanted to mention how nice it was to go home the other night. He was waiting for me at the door and the moment he put his arms around me, I felt two weeks worth of stress and anxiety just melt away. We have never had to deal with something like this before in our relationship. That sounds so ridiculous and weird (especially around these parts, lmao) but it's true. All my relationships in the past had bumps all the time that it just became routine to fight and make up. But with us, it was so devastating because it was new and it never happens. Things still aren't perfectly right, but we're working on it. The thought of ever losing him terrifies me. I've never felt that way about anyone before. I've had my heart broken, of course, but I've never gone into a deep, deep depression like that. I am such a wimp. :(
And now that I've gotten all comfortable in New York, it seems I will be leaving again. I've signed up to be in a horror movie and the filming starts soon. Where, you ask? Germany! Holy crap, I am so excited! I feel sexier already just thinking about it. Well, minus the hacking and gagging they do over there every now and then. But still, GERMANY.
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[22 Feb 2005|08:16am] |
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mood |
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not emo, for once |
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Ryan took me out to dinner last night. It was really nice, especially since I hadn't been out in awhile. I've grown accustomed to sitting in the guest room at Doug's and kind of secluding myself from everyone. Doug gets annoyed with me and tries to get me to come out, but like I told him, he's done enough already and the last thing I want to do is make him deal with my whiny ass all the time.
Anyway, the moment Ryan saw me he got this worried expression on his face and asked me if I had been sleeping. What is sleep? I told him I was fine and we left for the restaurant. When we sat down and the waitress asked us if we wanted something to drink, Ryan automatically said, "And she'll have a coffee too." I guess he didn't want a boring dinner date, hahaha. It felt nice to have someone care, period.
Much of the evening was spent catching up. I mean, I don't know how long it's been since I've spoken to Ryan more than maybe a brief call where I said, "OMG THE NOTEBOOK WAS THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER EVER EVER!" which is incredibly dorky and I'm pretty sure he hung up on me, thinking I was some crazy teenager or something. But this time it was nice to push away some other thoughts that have been clouding my mind practically 24/7 and catch up with an old friend.
I slept a little more last night than I have previous nights. Maybe it was the dinner with Ryan, the pleasant conversations with Doug and Dan, a reminder of the mutual love and understanding between Kristin and I, and the fact that today I get to see Michelle to watch a movie and gush about her pregnancy. So much good, but still something doesn't feel right. Things aren't right when you're not here.
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[19 Feb 2005|01:56am] |
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I got a flask inside my pocket
we can share it on the train.
And if you promise to stay conscious
I will try and do the same.
Well we might die from medication
but we sure killed all the pain.
But what was normal in the evening
by the morning seems insane.
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[17 Feb 2005|09:08pm] |
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drunk |
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thanks conor |
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I'm afraid of the feeling I get when I'm around you.
Edit: I feel like I have so much to say but no words to say it with. Maybe it's the alcohol that's getting to my head, but I don't think so. What happened to us? Where did it go from being heaven to being something I can't even name anymore? Do you miss me? Do you cry yourself to sleep at night? I do, I do.
And they color the eyes of your former lovers
Hers were green like July,
Except when she cried they were red
Now I know a disease that these doctors can’t treat
You contract on the day you accept all you see
Is a mirror, and a mirror is all it can be
A reflection of something we’re missing
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[14 Feb 2005|06:36pm] |
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I don't know how much longer I can do this. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, and here's my gift to all of you, although it may not be as good as Kirkpatrick's, it's pretty damn good. Sorry Justin, Britney, and Christina.
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[12 Feb 2005|02:50am] |
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blank |
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"so i fall again" - phantom planet |
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I can't go home. Not yet. I'm not okay, and I need to stay here for awhile. Because here I don't have to worry about whatever lies outside of this house. It's coward of me not to deal with it, but I don't want to. He understands that I don't want to, and he leaves me be. Unless I need him, and then he's right there.
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| Happy birthday, Justin! |
[31 Jan 2005|05:46pm] |
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I was all in a depression because I never see my husband, but it's okay I'll just date Sarah instead.
Speaking of depression, I ran to Doug in my hour of need and now he's putting up with my annoying ass. I love him. :-[ I can't update any more for now because I have lost all ability to write anything good at all. I think I will again blame it on the return of Sarah because I missed her and love her so much!!!!
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[24 Jan 2005|05:45pm] |
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"she changes your mind" - copeland |
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| OOC |
[13 Jan 2005|01:38pm] |
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i need a hiatus.
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[01 Jan 2005|03:16pm] |
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good |
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"mona lisa" - britney spears |
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happy new year but more importantly happy belated birthday kristin kreuk. i could get all mushy here but i think i did that enough in a drunken stupor last night. I LOVE YOU WOMAN.
the party was super fun last night. i ended up cancelling two shows in order to go because i had one the day of new years and i was also supposed to be performing in a matinee today. but who works on new years? so because this is DJ land i called and told them i wasn't coming and they could either cancel or do the show without me. they cancelled of course lmao and i'm not even the lead!
surprisingly enough i don't really have much of a hangover. here's to the new year.
tomorrow is doug's birthday. i guess josh and i will have to stay in town for one more day and harass him a little.
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