i never want to hear the words 'pillowy goodness' again
rachael is here now and helped me celebrate my birthday in the castle. i was a little bummed at first because josh wasn't going to be able to come, but i still threw a damn good party anyway, german cannibals flowed like wine.

then after we sent all of them away (the language barrier was getting a little difficult for us especially after we were hammered) we parted ways and rachael went to her side of the castle and i went to mine. being the huge chicken i am, i took a big flashlight and walked over to her side and quietly slid into bed with her. she wasn't asleep anyway so i didn't feel bad when she turned over and looked at me. i quickly apologized for being in there, sometimes i'm not sure who gets bothered by the cuddling thing and who likes it. i am a cuddler by nature, and most of my friends are. but she told me not to apologize and actually thanked me since she said she couldn't sleep and needed to talk to someone.

we have a lot more in common then i ever thought we did. i really did think she and clay were good for one another, but it was always weird for me to have a friendship with her because of the way it started. when a relationship starts with bitterness, it's hard to get rid of that. i couldn't stop thinking about how clay and i hadn't been broken up that long before the two of them got together. but i have decided to put all that behind me now, actually that's something i should have done long ago because she is really wonderful. we talked about a lot that night and i feel a lot closer to her because of it.

finally, at 2 in the morning (because the time is all off) josh called me to wish me a happy birthday and to apologize for not being with me. he said he hoped i had an alright day anyway. actually, i did and it was better than alright.

justin timberlake and i are going to see sin city together whenever it comes out. jealous.